Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For Your Needs. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever manufactured in India back again to Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: it is a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine just like a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three nationwide honors, Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her support for farmers’ protests!

RiRi ended up being made to be sorry instantly. Ms Ranaut shut her down just like the Web in Delhi NCR throughout the police-farmer clashes. Not before offering Rihanna an accident course on democracy by trivialising rights that are human and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by by by herself the honour of sitting on a higher horse and dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide Asia like pizza pieces.

She extends to regulate how they truly are supposed to experience legislation that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are simply ‘wild thoughts!’

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But Rihanna must not for the moment think she’s free to tweet about India from her high horse.

Because the woman continues to be at nighttime about do’s and here do n’ts’s a list she should avoid:

Here’s just just exactly what Rihanna should tweet about. What makes Indians rushing down to Maldives rather than Barbados for Instagrammable getaway pictures? Why did Jahangir provide East India the permit to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ thought we would shed tears that are crocodile terrorists parked at Singhu border like obsolete sarkari Ambassador vehicles and looking forward to Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it really is apparent that too quarantining that is much fogged up your mind.

May we suggest ‘work work work’ or perhaps a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors manufactured in India’s history and geography to Nehru?

Or we’re able to move you to stay for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to check out silver into the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering sweet nothings in their ear.

It really help me write my paper is pretty obvious you may be woefully unaware which our federal federal government may be the thing that is best to possess occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers ‘Terrorists’ & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Just Just What Have You Done? Now Even Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you have got currently done us damage that is much gotten the entire world to share with you one thing apart from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting caps that are polar shrinking woodlands and seeking angrily at globe leaders.

Now Kangana that is poor will compelled to offer a thumbs right down to Thunberg. Ask her to function on the anger management issue. View a good old fashioned film like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a buddy and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and efforts to destabilise India from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away away from you. No longer dancing at Indian weddings for you personally. Particularly the big ones that are fat Asia. You have ‘hit your toe with your personal hammer’.

You, we humbly advise you to please take back your meddling foreign hand and let us criminalise protests, beat up university students, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright journalists, in peace while we continue our efforts to discredit.

You’re getting inside our method of letting lapdogs grow.

Hai Ram, look everything you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with your farmers!

Take a seat, you trick. Kangana will be at Mia’s home to phone her a ‘chudail’. With no card that is aadhaar you, Mia.

(an instructor not long ago, Purba Ray took to writing on a whim after making her task. She’s got an impression on almost everything, reality or fiction, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or brief. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This can be a individual weblog and the views expressed will be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor accounts for them.)

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