Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For Your Needs. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever produced in India back again to Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: this might be a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine like a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three nationwide prizes, Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her help for farmers’ protests!

RiRi had been meant to be sorry straight away. Ms Ranaut shut her down such as the online in Delhi NCR through the clashes that are police-farmer. Not before providing Rihanna a collision program on democracy by trivialising peoples liberties issues and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by herself the honour of sitting on a horse that is high dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide Asia like pizza pieces.

She extends to regulate how they truly are supposed to experience regulations that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are only ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Responds as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking Not The Right Qs. Here’s What you should about be Tweeting

But Rihanna must not for the brief moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Considering that the woman continues to be at nighttime about do’s and don’ts, right here’s a listing she should steer clear of:

Here’s just what Rihanna should tweet about. What makes Indians rushing down to Maldives rather than Barbados for Instagrammable holiday pictures? Why did Jahangir offer East Asia the permit to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ made a decision to shed tears that are crocodile terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador automobiles and waiting around for Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it’s apparent that too quarantining that is much fogged up the human brain.

May we suggest ‘work work work’ or a masterclass in desi patriotism that writing a research paper traces all errors built in India’s history and geography to Nehru?

Or we’re able to cause you to stay for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to see gold into the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering sweet nothings in their ear.

It really is pretty obvious you will be woefully unaware which our federal federal federal government may be the smartest thing to possess occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers ‘Terrorists’ & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Just Exactly Just What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you’ve got currently done us much harm and gotten the whole world to fairly share one thing apart from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting caps that are polar shrinking woodlands and seeking angrily at globe leaders.

Now bad Kangana are compelled to provide a thumbs down seriously to Thunberg. Ask her to focus on her behalf anger management issue. Watch good old fashioned film like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a pal and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and efforts to destabilise Asia from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away away from you. No longer dancing at Indian weddings for your needs. Particularly the big ones that are fat Asia. You have ‘hit your toe with your personal hammer’.

You, we humbly advise you to please take back your meddling foreign hand and let us criminalise protests, beat up university students, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright journalists, in peace while we continue our efforts to discredit.

You will get within our method of letting lapdogs grow.

Hai Ram, look everything you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with your farmers!

Sit back, you fool. Kangana will be at Mia’s home to phone her a ‘chudail’. And no Aadhaar card for you, Mia.

(an instructor not very sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing on a whim after making her task. She’s got an impression on almost every thing, fiction or fact, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or quick. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This really is a blog that is personal the views expressed would be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor is in charge of them.)

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